journey series: the next few steps.

this was sydney in july 2010. i can't believe i'm gonna call you home for 2012.
i still can't get a grip on my emotions and reality. i know it'll all hit me soon enough.
but i do have to scale up my own bridge, and i know once i get going it won't look so scary after all.

journey series: let's make decisions.

so lesson learned.
i can be a mental paralytic sometimes.
if it all starts in the mind, well, i've often let myself be overcome by the obstacles i create in my mind.
either i get stuck thinking the worst, thinking that i can't overcome the worst of the worse, or even not-the-worst of the worse. i find myself unable to see the actual opportunities laid out in front of me, because right at the beginning, i doom myself to fail.

and now, i've faced failure, and even though there is no guarantee that i will not fail again.
i'm not as afraid.
slate's clean. somewhat of a breather.

some decisions i made this year.
1. i decided i'd keep my promise to myself and forge on with my desire to try life in australia.
2. i decided to do my best at whatever circumstance i faced and battle on.
3. i decided to scrimp and save the best i could for the coming journey.
4. in the middle of everything, i took an EKG Monitor Tech class. (not a science buff, but i passed with flying colors.)
5. i decided to keep going even if the path seemed rocky with loops and detours.
6. so i finally applied to hillsong international leadership college in late july.
7. and when i got offered a place, i decided to take it.
8. then i decided to apply for a visa.
9. and amidst all the mixed emotions, on monday, i received their reply, and they granted me a pass to study in australia.
10. and today, i decide that whatever happens from here on out, fail or succeed... one thing i learned, is to keep my head up, and try, and try, and try, and try and try again.

we all have to make choices.
and i've decided, i don't want to be lame any longer.

it's a tough road, but i'm the only one who's gonna walk it.

Brooke & The Sea Lion.

i posted it on my mental calendar: FOR OCT 20TH, YOUR POST WILL BE ABOUT BROOKE FRASER.

Just wanted to make a little post about how I met her exactly a year ago. (See the Fraser Fever Post Here!) It was one of the highlights of my 2010... in addition to another show of hers at the El Rey about 2 months after.
Didn't want to forget and hoped I wouldn't forget, but, ah! I did. (Last Thursday was so crazy, and I had so much important matters to attend to... which I hope will soon be over! I'm tired!)
It's amazing how she's still on tour and I think will be for another number of months! Tour after tour, go Brookie! You energizer bunny!

Anyway, here's her uber fun rendition of Sea Lion:


... my post title sounds like a book title, or a band name. HAHA. or i guess it sounds better as (Brooke & The Sea Lions.)

journey series: seasons and reasons.

*Photo from Jules A'Bell on Twitter

so, last year, i made decisions without knowing the probable results.
chose to leave school, for reasons known and unknown. a most frustrating season because of judgment and expectations. deep inside i knew i chose the road less traveled, was it gonna be good? was it gonna be bad? i had no clue.

i found freelance work, and a temporary filler position that paid for the loans and bills. and at the dawn of the new year, life turned upside down.

christmas was like no other, but in all the chaos, in all honesty, it was one of the best christmases' i've ever had. all of me, laid at the savior's feet. 2010 and 2011 in surrender and in awe. following that was a crazy month of living in an empty house and literally bumming it around. it was so crazy and adventurous. it was a rainy winter and it was amazing living feeling like, "could this be the last day of my life?" (HAHAHA. everyday was like a scene out of a film.)

the new year came, and i don't think i had time to think about how i truly felt at that time. thoughts and ideas were a blur, life was at a blur. nothing was at my reign and control, but i felt so liberated. all i had to do was surrender to each new day of twenty-eleven, and again, leaving everything at the savior's feet, believing for the best.

unfortunately, job hunting wasn't looking too good. had barely saved anything. i had hoped to have at least half of what i intended to save for australia. it was the one thing i couldn't keep out of my head. absolute gravitational pull.

i could've approached life terrified, but by the saving grace of my God, i felt somehow, invincible.
nothing was going to plan, but everything started to make sense. and i began to see the purpose and reason for everything that happened in 2010. i cannot explain it, but it was definitely miraculous.

so keeping my head-up... i finally landed a job as a nanny, just a short walk up from my old neighborhood. a new course in my australian dream presented itself... and the year was looking promising...

i've never felt so fearless, but absolutely terrified at the same time.
but we do only live once, and i'm not gonna live it recklessly, but i am gonna take some risks.
once is enough, once is all we're gonna get, and i wanna do it right with the one chance i have.

there will be more seasons just like the ones that passed me by, rainy, crazy, solemn, and blurred.
it'll be a storm, but somewhere in the middle of that season, i know i'll remember, then get excited about the day i get to look back and realize that "everything happens for a reason". for now i don't know, but i have to keep going.

can't wait for the day the skies clear.

__________________ is the reason.

veggie tales.

so i attempted to make a poster for the harvest fest at my church. however, i had to give it to my friend who made an amazing poster, of course we're gonna go with hers instead!

here are my little pumpkin exercises: