Midnight Mishaps.

So, my hands are shaking both because the windows are open and there's a chilly breeze blowin' through, and it's the middle of the night, AND... I just happened to receive a package from Burberry worth $2010 freaking simoleons, NO, ACTUALLY, I MEAN REAL DOLLARS.

**(post is published late... received package Wednesday night)

WHAT THE HUBALAHEY! (I need that money actually... !!)

So, how many times do you get something so freaking expensive in the mail?
All I ordered was an eyeliner my gift card could afford, it was that or a votive candle (which would cost me extra for shipping!?!)... and I get an extra box of "goodies".

I kinda thought it was Christmas, or an early bday gift, or even, that I won a secret Burberry contest... but it happens to be, ... A NO. Just an ultimate shipping mistake. What a joke to play warehouse folks. Hmph! (Yes, it is boxed up again for return.)

Well, here's photos of MY purchase, I did get an extra vial of perfume! (FANCY gift, unlike the uber tiny testers you get from MACYs or any other chain department stores...) and all the other little tidbits like the gift bag, receipt envelope (I know... it has an envelope) and the tissue were nice touches. Hey, if you know me, I do like paper and packaging and all those little details... so... without further ado. My $39 order.

Same print embossed on both paper bag and envelope. (Ah, it felt so fancy!!)

My eyeliner and small gift from purchase!
(I've used "fancy" way too much in this post, but I'm gonna use it again!) FANCY!

journey series: the next few steps.

this was sydney in july 2010. i can't believe i'm gonna call you home for 2012.
i still can't get a grip on my emotions and reality. i know it'll all hit me soon enough.
but i do have to scale up my own bridge, and i know once i get going it won't look so scary after all.

journey series: let's make decisions.

so lesson learned.
i can be a mental paralytic sometimes.
if it all starts in the mind, well, i've often let myself be overcome by the obstacles i create in my mind.
either i get stuck thinking the worst, thinking that i can't overcome the worst of the worse, or even not-the-worst of the worse. i find myself unable to see the actual opportunities laid out in front of me, because right at the beginning, i doom myself to fail.

and now, i've faced failure, and even though there is no guarantee that i will not fail again.
i'm not as afraid.
slate's clean. somewhat of a breather.

some decisions i made this year.
1. i decided i'd keep my promise to myself and forge on with my desire to try life in australia.
2. i decided to do my best at whatever circumstance i faced and battle on.
3. i decided to scrimp and save the best i could for the coming journey.
4. in the middle of everything, i took an EKG Monitor Tech class. (not a science buff, but i passed with flying colors.)
5. i decided to keep going even if the path seemed rocky with loops and detours.
6. so i finally applied to hillsong international leadership college in late july.
7. and when i got offered a place, i decided to take it.
8. then i decided to apply for a visa.
9. and amidst all the mixed emotions, on monday, i received their reply, and they granted me a pass to study in australia.
10. and today, i decide that whatever happens from here on out, fail or succeed... one thing i learned, is to keep my head up, and try, and try, and try, and try and try again.

we all have to make choices.
and i've decided, i don't want to be lame any longer.

it's a tough road, but i'm the only one who's gonna walk it.

Brooke & The Sea Lion.

i posted it on my mental calendar: FOR OCT 20TH, YOUR POST WILL BE ABOUT BROOKE FRASER.

Just wanted to make a little post about how I met her exactly a year ago. (See the Fraser Fever Post Here!) It was one of the highlights of my 2010... in addition to another show of hers at the El Rey about 2 months after.
Didn't want to forget and hoped I wouldn't forget, but, ah! I did. (Last Thursday was so crazy, and I had so much important matters to attend to... which I hope will soon be over! I'm tired!)
It's amazing how she's still on tour and I think will be for another number of months! Tour after tour, go Brookie! You energizer bunny!

Anyway, here's her uber fun rendition of Sea Lion:


... my post title sounds like a book title, or a band name. HAHA. or i guess it sounds better as (Brooke & The Sea Lions.)

journey series: seasons and reasons.

*Photo from Jules A'Bell on Twitter

so, last year, i made decisions without knowing the probable results.
chose to leave school, for reasons known and unknown. a most frustrating season because of judgment and expectations. deep inside i knew i chose the road less traveled, was it gonna be good? was it gonna be bad? i had no clue.

i found freelance work, and a temporary filler position that paid for the loans and bills. and at the dawn of the new year, life turned upside down.

christmas was like no other, but in all the chaos, in all honesty, it was one of the best christmases' i've ever had. all of me, laid at the savior's feet. 2010 and 2011 in surrender and in awe. following that was a crazy month of living in an empty house and literally bumming it around. it was so crazy and adventurous. it was a rainy winter and it was amazing living feeling like, "could this be the last day of my life?" (HAHAHA. everyday was like a scene out of a film.)

the new year came, and i don't think i had time to think about how i truly felt at that time. thoughts and ideas were a blur, life was at a blur. nothing was at my reign and control, but i felt so liberated. all i had to do was surrender to each new day of twenty-eleven, and again, leaving everything at the savior's feet, believing for the best.

unfortunately, job hunting wasn't looking too good. had barely saved anything. i had hoped to have at least half of what i intended to save for australia. it was the one thing i couldn't keep out of my head. absolute gravitational pull.

i could've approached life terrified, but by the saving grace of my God, i felt somehow, invincible.
nothing was going to plan, but everything started to make sense. and i began to see the purpose and reason for everything that happened in 2010. i cannot explain it, but it was definitely miraculous.

so keeping my head-up... i finally landed a job as a nanny, just a short walk up from my old neighborhood. a new course in my australian dream presented itself... and the year was looking promising...

i've never felt so fearless, but absolutely terrified at the same time.
but we do only live once, and i'm not gonna live it recklessly, but i am gonna take some risks.
once is enough, once is all we're gonna get, and i wanna do it right with the one chance i have.

there will be more seasons just like the ones that passed me by, rainy, crazy, solemn, and blurred.
it'll be a storm, but somewhere in the middle of that season, i know i'll remember, then get excited about the day i get to look back and realize that "everything happens for a reason". for now i don't know, but i have to keep going.

can't wait for the day the skies clear.

__________________ is the reason.

veggie tales.

so i attempted to make a poster for the harvest fest at my church. however, i had to give it to my friend who made an amazing poster, of course we're gonna go with hers instead!

here are my little pumpkin exercises:

journey series: rewind.

i can't describe every detail, but here's the perfect explanation. i couldn't really create a "rewind" post, i could, however,take you back to experience a moment in 2010.

This CAPTION takes you to my "WHO I AM" post!
Or, you can also find it in the side bar under most viewed posts...

this rewind is uplifting, yes, almost functioning like the slingshot theory. i hope my heart starts to trust and believe the way i did then. i'd love to finish this race gloriously, win or lose.

today we start: the journey series

i'm not really sure how to start, like most cases, but as the title implies, today.. we start. whatever it is that is needed to be done. today's the day to do it. today's the day to start.
i thought about making a record of my simple thoughts to map out an experience. last night, i thought, "maybe if i write them down, it'll all make sense."

'cause, about half-way through, i think i lost sense of it all. and finding it all back, ...reason, passion, sanity, and the cause, is all part of the ride. i hope, in all that i relay, if someone comes across it, that they'll take something from it, and go. 'coz let me tell you, it sucks being afraid all the time.

the year is closing, and i'm here, mid-journey, writing everything from the beginning.
recording, ..the possibilities of a new life.

a new beginning.

in sydney? in sydney... . . in sydney.

 Adam Crews Photography

there is no certainty for me, and honestly, no rest, until i step aboard the aircraft that takes me across the pacific.

for now, i'll take myself to painstaking periods of 2010, muster up the courage to write the next post, and live the next day.

God has a plan for my life.

it all seems unclear now, but i can't wait for the following seasons, in which i get to look back at this part of my life, and understand the why behind today.

"if it's meant to be, it will be, .................. or not."

what we make of it. caution to the wind.
curating, observing, probable laboring to come.
"stop typecasting me."

*found both images on curation website ffffound.com

where.

they said it was the streets of paris, but i knew better. it was the beautiful little collins in melbourne.

i watched killer elite the other night with my dad, it was an alright movie i'd say-- (not really up for a crit or commentary at the moment, that might've been a one-time deal..)

anyway, closing scene was set to be Paris in the 1980s, and i know all about movie magic and all that stuff. so i knew after they'd mentioned something about film victoria in the opening credits (and yarra valley in the beginning of the film), that perhaps the ending scene of killer elite was actually in one of my favorite destinations in melbourne. the building on the left (white and gray) was the actual giveaway. i thought it was too familiar, and i actually took a photo of it on my last visit. ... and voila, after i went googlemaps and searched the image, there it is!

*screen cap was taken from online movie streaming site-- skipped to the end to confirm.

point is, oz is calling out to me. miss melbourne so much! my heart breaks from being so far away for too long!

kick fear in the face.

i'm looking forward to kicking fear in the face. heave, ho, it's october, it's beautiful outside, and i'm panicky in the inside. but that's life, like i've said a gajillion times, i gotta suck it up and keep going. there are times when i'm gonna feel unsteady. but i must keep calm and carry on.

oh, and do this:

survival of the fittest! (and trust me, i've never been one on the fit side... but i'm training these muscles for battles ahead. HUZZAH! [and thank you google image search: "kick fear in the face")

"nothing exciting"

Weekend, I thought, I want to post something, but I can't think of what to write about, etc, etc. So I quickly made up my mind and went with this idea, "Hey, how about google search the phrase "nothing exciting", find an image that sticks out to you then just slap it on a post and publish it." 



So here's one of the last photos on the page. 
Sometimes, being in the middle of nowhere, on a plateau, wherever one is in the middle of a journey, can seem so plain and boring, but I found it ironic that in my search for an image that would embody "nothingness", one would pop up to showcase why barrenness can be quite beautiful.

Let's appreciate rest, folks. (I know we'd all prefer climbing mount everest, but thank you Lord that we get breathers.) (Long day(s)!)






So the photo is off Anne & Laura's blog. I quickly popped in to peek at the photos of their coast to coast journey, and they were beautiful. Learned that one of the bloggers, Laura, is a photographer. Their photos are so enticing. I want to go on a spontaneous road trip...  (I guess I'm gonna be going across something sometime, sure, my plateau's a little rocky, but no biggie, it's life, and I gotta learn to deal with its rough edges.)



Anyway, I'll leave random peepers with this: (and check out their blog! Click on the link below!)
" I think the key is that if you are ever offered the opportunity to do it, say yes before you even think about it. " Laura, of Anne&Laura